


You Think I'm Funny When I Tell the Punchline Wrong

by trans_frnkiero



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, Catholic Guilt, Catholicism, Childhood Friends, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, High School, M/M, Smut, gonna add more tags as they apply, they'll get there eventually theyre just repressed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:35:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29171970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trans_frnkiero/pseuds/trans_frnkiero
Summary: Frank and Gerard had been practically attached at the hip since elementary, a relationship that the other kids at school, and their parents’ Church friends found quite strange. But they were friends, close friends, and nothing more.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 25
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! This is my first proper fic, and yes it's cliche, but I'm a sucker for a good friends to lovers fic, so here ya go. Self-indulgent bullshit <3 Happy reading!

Frank and Gerard were sprawled out on the floor of Frank’s bedroom. A fan hummed faintly, reminding them of the heat, and of the oncoming summer. It was their junior year of high school, and the prospect of moving away for college was looming over their heads. Frank and Gerard had been practically attached at the hip since elementary, a relationship that the other kids at school, and their parents’ Church friends found quite strange, if not outright appalling.

The two boys laid in companionable silence until Gerard decided to speak. 

“Do you think that there’s really a man upstairs?” His words rang out clearly, hovering in the air.

“Well, something had to have made us, right?” Frank was puzzled. He didn’t expect a philosophical conversation from Gerard, let alone at the time of year where their brains were fogged over with heat. 

Gerard paused to turn his head towards. “But do you think He’s really an old man with a long beard?”

“I don’t know, Gerard. I don’t even think we should even be talking about Him like that.” Frank heaved a sigh, letting his head fall back onto the ground with a soft _thump._

***

Gerard had taken his Mom’s pickup truck over to Frank’s house to pick him up. Mikey was sitting in the back, texting furiously on his Sidekick. The three of them were on their way to the drive-in movies, planning to watch some gory horror flick that none of them knew anything about, other than that their parents definitely wouldn’t approve. 

Frank was waiting for the headlights of the Way car to pull up to the street corner and stop there, waiting for him. The screen was already popped out of his first-floor window, so all he needed to do was grab his bag and climb out, landing safely on the patch of untrimmed bushes underneath him. He slunk through the shadows, avoiding a couple of street lights, and hopped into the passenger seat of the Ways’ truck. 

“Hey Gerard. Mikey.” Frank flashed a smile at Gerard, before turning around in his seat to greet the younger of the Ways.

Some rock station was playing softly from the car’s radio, allowing them to peacefully engage with the Devil’s music, away from the prying eyes and ears of their religion-ridden parents. What was so Satanic about a little electric guitar, anyway?

Stuffed in the backseat alongside Mikey was a plethora of pillows and blankets, looted from the Ways’ beds and couches. They were going to set up a little bed in the back of the truck, and eat the candy Frank had brought them, and laugh at the shitty, shitty, special effects. It was going to be a good night. 

They got there, paid for their tickets, and tuned in to the radio station that was going to play their movie. There were ads rolling, so they took the time to build their fort, piling up pillows and blankets. By the time the movie had started, Frank was sitting in the middle, with a Way brother on either side. Mikey was to his right, fully engrossed as he snacked on the candy that Frank had brought. Gerard’s arm was slung around his shoulder in a friendly way. Frank tried to ignore the funny feeling settling in his gut, and trained his eyes on the movie playing. 

About halfway through the movie, Gerard started to become drowsy, resting his head on top of Frank’s, and nuzzling Frank’s head into the nook of his neck. The feeling in Frank’s gut increased tenfold, and he was grateful for the dark of the night, because he was sure his face had reddened at least a few shades. He didn’t really understand why, though. Gerard was his friend, and he wasn’t gay. He’d even had a few girlfriends, for God’s sake! Albeit, none of them were very long-lived, but he couldn’t be gay. He just couldn’t. It wasn’t _right_.

Frank was startled awake from his self-reflection when he felt a soft hand glide over his own. Gerard, in his sleep-induced haze, had pulled Frank closer, and grabbed ahold of his hand. Frank felt his heart miss a beat in his chest, and he was once again grateful for the low light masking his blush. He felt the pad of Gerard’s thumb run over the back of his hand, and the funny feeling in his stomach made itself known once again. He squirmed, trying to move away from Gerard, but somehow ended up pressed closer to him. He stilled after a few moments, deciding that it was okay for friends to do this. _Friends can hug, right? Why not hold hands?_ After a minute of pondering, Frank decided that he liked holding hands with Gerard. It was just like a hug. Maybe a little better.

***

It had been a few weeks since they had held hands, and it hadn’t been mentioned. Frank was glad for it, because he didn’t know what he would say if Gerard did bring it up. The two of them were once again on the floor, this time in Gerard's room, deep in conversation about the newest installment of X-men. Their conversation drew to a sudden halt as they heard a sharp rap at the door. Gerard hastily shoved the comic underneath his bed, and yelled, “It’s open!”

Donna Way opened the door just enough to peek her head through. “Gerard, Frank. Dinner’s going to be ready in a few minutes.”

“Okay, thanks Mom.” Gerard smiled, and Frank nodded appreciatively.

*** 

The Ways and Frank went around the table, each saying something they’re grateful for. Donna ended Grace with the line, “Bless us oh Lord for these gifts that we’re about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen.” She recited it almost enthusiastically, as if it were her first time to have the honor of saying Grace.

“Amen.” Came the reply from the others.

Small talk ensued. _How’s school been? Are you excited for the summer? You guys are too old for Bible Camp, but you_ do _still have to go to church! Maybe you can be a counselor at camp. No? Come on, it would be fun!_ Frank and Gerard ate quickly and excused themselves, rushing back down to Gerard’s basement bedroom to finish their analysis of Gerard’s newly acquired contraband comic book.

As it neared midnight, the two brushed their teeth and turned off the lights of Gerard’s room,creating the illusion that they were asleep, but in reality they were deep in conversation. Slowly, Frank grew more tired, and the conversation fizzled out into a companionable silence. A few minutes passed. 

“Frank?” Gerard asked into the air, his voice barely above a whisper.

He received a tired grunt from Frank in response.

“Frank, are you awake?” His voice became a little shriller, a little more nervous.

“Yeah, Gee. I’m up. What is it?”

“Can- can I tell you something?” Gerard’s voice rang out meekly. He sounded shy, so much different from the confident Gerard that he knew. The Gerard that stole his mom’s car to go watch a horror movie in the middle of the night. This Gerard was different.

Frank was caught off guard by it. “Yeah, of course.”

“You aren’t going to hate me for it, right?” 

“You’re making me nervous, Gee.” Frank chuckled gently. “What is it?”

“Just promise you aren’t going to hate me.” Gerard’s voice was nearly inaudible, and shaking.

Frank sat up from his sleeping bag to be able to look at Gerard through the low light, prompting Gerard to do the same.

“Gee, you could tell me you were a serial killer and I wouldn’t hate you. Do you need help hiding a body?” Frank tried to calm Gerard by cracking a joke, but he could tell Gerard wasn’t having it. “Seriously Gerard, it’s okay. What’s on your mind?”

Gerard took a steadying breath. His voice shook as he spoke. “Frank, I- I’m gay.”

Frank’s first thought was that homosexuality was wrong. His second thought was that Gerard was his best friend, and fuck God if being gay was Gerard’s Fast-Pass to hell. Funny, kind, wonderful Gerard wasn’t going to hell. He couldn’t. He was already an angel on Earth. The silence was thick between them, and Frank was the one to break it.

“Oh.” Was all he managed.

“You hate me, don’t you?” Gerard looked at his lap, a tear slipping from his cheek. “You hate me, and I fucked everything up. I’m so sorry, can we please forget I said anything? Fuck, I’m so sorry, I-”

“Gerard,” Frank’s voice was steady. “Gerard, no. I don’t hate you. It’s okay. I was just surprised, is all.” He reached over to wipe a tear from Gerard’s eye, scooting towards him in the process. “Gee?”

Gerard managed a weak smile. “Yeah?”

“You’re my best friend. Nothing could ever make me hate you. Nothing.” And he meant it, with his whole heart; his whole being.

Gerard smiled softly, genuinely this time. “Thanks.”

Frank leaned over, awkwardly wrapping his arms around Gerard in a sitting hug. “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “Your secret’s safe with me.” He felt Gerard nod against him, and he knew they were going to be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

Frank was sitting on his bed, back to the headboard. He was hunched over, his brow furrowed. After Gerard had come out, he needed time to reevaluate what that meant for their friendship. Frank loved Gerard, platonically of course, but how could Gerard be gay? Neither Frank nor Gerard had ever been the godliest kid, and Frank could attest to that, but being gay was different. It was just more wrong. Somewhere, deep inside Frank, however, there was a part of him that was perfectly okay with Gerard’s homosexuality, and it scared him that he didn’t know what part of himself to listen to. He was used to knowing what was right and what was wrong. He knew that he and Gerard did things that were wrong. They lied, they got drunk, they masturbated. Sure, that was all sin, but humans were born sinners anyway. They would always confess their sins, and be reconciled with God and the Church. But homosexuality can’t be undone. You can’t say 15  _ Hail Mary _ s and become straight. 

Frank couldn’t help but wonder what Gerard’s parents would do if they found out.  _ Would they disown him? Beat him? Send him off to conversion therapy? _ Frank shuddered. He vaguely knew a kid from school whose parents had sent him to a conversion camp over the summer. When he came back, he was no longer outgoing and extroverted, and had become shy and skittish, keeping mostly to himself. Frank didn’t know what he would do if that happened to Gerard.

He thought back to the night at the movies, the hand holding. _ If Gerard’s gay _ , he thought,  _ does that mean that us holding hands meant something? _ The inside of his lip was caught between his teeth, as he held himself deep in thought.  _ Do I want it to mean something? _ He blinked.  _ What the fuck? Where’d that come from? Of course I don’t want it to mean something. I  _ shouldn’t _ want it to mean something. _ Frank groaned.  _ Stupid sinful desires. _ He thought, but the funny feeling in his stomach was back, and this time it was mixed with queasiness.

For the first time in nearly a year, Frank found himself reaching for the rosary that he kept in his bedside table and praying. He slumped back when the final words of the Apostles’ Creed left his mouth, and he felt marginally better about himself and Gerard and the whole ordeal surrounding Gerard’s homosexuality.

***

In the meantime, Gerard was back at home, also in his room. He was pacing, absentmindedly scratching his knuckles raw. His one window was covered by a blind, leaving him in near complete darkness. Ever since he had come out to Frank, he’d been restless, as if he was waiting for his secret to be broadcast to everyone he knew. Frank wouldn’t tell anyone, he knew that, but he was still worried. What if Frank  _ did _ share his secret? He would be so fucked. He’d get excommunicated from the Church for sure. And, dear God, what would his family say? Frank wouldn’t tell anyone; he  _ couldn’t _ . 

Gerard slumped down onto his bed, releasing his strangle-hold on his own hand. He reached over to his bedside table, pulling the landline phone off of its stand. 

In the kitchen of Frank’s home, the phone rang. Linda Iero picked it up, after wiping her hands on her apron.

“Hello?” Gerard could almost hear her sickly sweet smile through the phone.

“Hello, Mrs. Iero. Is Frank home?” Gerard noticed himself holding a polite smile, even though he knew she couldn’t see him. “It’s Gerard, by the way.” Gerard knew that nobody else called Frank, but he figured identifying himself couldn’t hurt.

“Oh, hello Gerard! One moment, please.”

“Thank you.” Gerard smiled appreciatively. 

“Frank!” Linda called, “Gerard’s calling you!”

Frank stood up. It’s not that he didn’t  _ want _ to talk to Gerard, he just didn’t know  _ how _ to.  _ How do you talk to a gay person? _ He took his time getting from his room to the kitchen, allowing himself a few moments to breathe before he took the phone from his mother’s hands. 

_ Thanks Mom, _ he mouthed. “Gerard, hey. Whats up?” He put on a casual act, but he knew that Gerard could hear right through it.

“Hi, Frankie.” The weird feeling in Frank’s stomach returned once again upon hearing Gerard’s nickname for him. “Can I come over? Wanna talk to you.”

“Yeah, sure, Gee. See you in a few.”

“See you.” Gerard was the first to hang up.  _ What have I gotten myself into now _ , he thought.

As he was getting dressed to go see Frank, Gerard cursed his own impulsiveness. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say. He just needed to know that everything was going to be okay between them.

***

The doorbell rang, and Frank hopped up to get it. He knew exactly who it was, and it made him nervous. He took a deep breath before opening the door. 

“Hey, Gerard.”

“Hey.” A pause.

“Can I come in?”

Frank nodded, slightly flustered, and moved aside to let Gerard in. Automatically, the two made their way to Frank’s bedroom. Somewhere, through Frank’s blurred state of mind, he heard his mom yell that she was going out for groceries. Frank didn’t really hear anything other than the blood rushing in his ears and Gerard’s footsteps beside him. 

Gingerly, Frank closed the door behind him, like making too much noise would startle Gerard off.

“So,” He said, properly looking Gerard in the eye for the first time since he’d arrived.

“So.” Gerard agreed. 

“So, what now?”

“I don’t know.” Gerard looked at his feet. “I’m sorry.”

Frank was puzzled. “What for?”

“For, y’know, making everything weird.”

“Oh. It’s okay.” Frank furrowed his brow; Gerard looked really upset, understandably so. Frank didn’t like seeing Gerard upset. Gerard was confident and didn’t take shit from anyone. He didn’t get upset. 

“Do you wanna take a seat?” Frank motioned to his bed, trying to assuage the awkwardness hanging in the room. Gerard gratefully sat down, and Frank followed suit. “So,” Frank started. “How did you know?” Frank looked at Gerard. “That you were gay, I mean.”

Gerard looked into his lap and blushed. “I dunno, I just  _ did _ .”

“Oh. Really?”

“No, it was probably all the weird, kinky gay porn.”

Frank was startled, to say the least. “Where the fuck did you get your hands on gay porn?“

“I was joking, Frank.” Gerard chuckled, feeling himself loosen up. Frank smiled back at him. This was the Gerard he knew best. “Nah, but actually, it was just crushes on guys and whatever.” Gerard shrugged, shifting away from Frank slightly.  _ And whatever, _ he thought. 

If Gerard was being honest with himself, he didn’t know how he felt about Frank. He knew he really loved him, at least in a platonic sense. Romantically, though? Maybe. Probably a little bit, at least. He couldn’t deny the swooping feeling in his chest when he and Frank would touch, but maybe that was just teenage hormones. Frank had had girlfriends before, so he was probably straight, anyway. Plus, they were best friends. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. 

Gerard was snapped out of his self-reflection by the sound of Frank’s playfully teasing voice. “Crushes on boys, hmm?” He nudged Gerard. “Who’s the lucky one?”

Gerard snorted, shoving Frank gently. “Like I’d tell you.”

“Aw, c’mon, you’re no fun.”

“Never have been, never will be.”

Gerard let himself fall backwards, his back landing softly on Frank’s bed. “What do you think my parents are going to say?” All of a sudden, the shy, nervous Gerard was back. 

“About you being gay?”

“No, when they find my stash of weird gay porn.” Gerard sighed. “Yeah, about me being gay.”

“I don’t know.”

Gerard furrowed his eyebrows, his stomach twisting in uncomfortable little knots. “Do you think they’ll send me off to conversion camp?”

“I hope not.” Frank sighed. He knew that homosexuality was wrong, but he didn’t think it was possible to undo it.  _ There was no point in trying _ , he thought.

“I’d miss you, Frank.” Gerard didn’t know how long conversion therapy would take, but if they kept you there until you were fixed, then it would probably be a damn long time. 

“Yeah, I’d miss you too.” Frank fell back onto his bed beside Gerard, resting his head on top of his hands. The weight of the two of them caused a divet in the mattress, forcing them slightly closer together. Oddly enough, Frank was okay with it. He shifted his head to be facing towards Gerard, and Gerard did the same. Suddenly, their faces were inches apart, and Frank was looking at Gerard’s lips and he was overcome with the overwhelming urge to just kiss Gerard. He wanted to, so badly it hurt deep in his chest. But he didn’t. He turned his head back to be facing at the ceiling, allowing the gap to close between the two of them, so their bodies were pressed flush together, side to side. 

They laid there for a few moments, allowing themselves some time to bask in each other's presence. Frank couldn’t help but notice the way he could feel Gerard’s body shift with each breath.

The phone rang. Frank grumbled out an “I’ll get it,” grudgingly extracting himself from his spot at Gerard’s side. Gerard sat up too, watching Frank leave the room to get the phone. 

“Hello?” Frank said into the phone. “Oh, hi Mom. Yeah, he’s still here. Really? Okay, bye. Yeah, alright. Love you too. Bye.”

“Gee?” Frank called back to the bedroom.    
“Yeah?” Gerard stood up, making his way to the kitchen where Frank was standing with the phone. 

“My Mom’s on her way home. She says my Aunt’s coming over for a surprise visit.” Frank pulled a face at his own words. “Something about some roadtrip she’s going on, and she’s passing by. Says you gotta be out before she’s home. Sorry.”

“That’s alright, Frankie. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay.” Frank smiled, walking Gerard to the door. As Gerard was getting ready to leave, Frank pulled him into a hug, startling Gerard. Though hugging had never been something out of the ordinary for them, he figured that might’ve changed after he came out. After a moment, he hugged Frank back. Frank smiled into his shoulder, allowing himself to linger in the hug a little longer than strictly necessary. When they pulled apart, they smiled lopsidedly at each other, and Frank’s stomach flip-flopped pleasantly. 

“See you soon, Gee.” Frank spoke it like he was telling a secret, his voice just above a whisper.

“See you.” Gerard smiled and left, leaving Frank standing in the doorway with butterflies in his stomach and a million thoughts racing through his head.

***

As Frank sat in the living room with his mom and aunt, he found himself tuning them out in favor of contemplating what the fuck was wrong with him. 

“Hey mom, can I be excused?” Frank interrupted his mother’s conversation. “I’ve got some homework I need to finish up.” He was lying, of course - the school year was drawing to an end, and all their teachers had grown more lax, cutting back on the homework. His mom didn’t need to know that, though. His mother excused him, and he quickly made his way back to his room.

Frank found himself laying down on his bed, once again thinking about Gerard. He seemed to be thinking about Gerard a lot these days. Frank wondered what it meant when he didn’t want to let go of Gerard after the hug. He wondered what it meant when he liked curling up next to Gerard because he found comfort in the closeness. He wondered what it meant when he felt that electrifying feeling around Gerard. 

He wondered why he’d wanted to kiss Gerard.

He hated himself for it. He didn’t want to kiss another man. Frank Iero wasn’t gay! But undoubtedly, he  _ had _ wanted to kiss Gerard.

_ I’m just confusing myself, _ he thought.  _ I’m straight, it’s just hormones. Plus, Gerard kinda looks like a girl anyway. Damn him and his long hair and doe eyes and cute little nose and perfect ass. Wait, what the fuck? Stop that, Frank! I’m not gay. Am I?  _

_ God, This is so fucked. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowwie how did you like that? What do you think Frank's going to do?  
> Comments and CC is appreciated, please be nice :)  
> \- xo ben


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woww well my teacher almost caught me writing this so I hope it's worth it. Enjoy!

Frank smoothed down his shirt, determined to look presentable at church, despite having neglected his laundry basket for weeks. He pushed his hair back, deciding that it was good enough. As routine, he met his family in the living room, and they walked together to church. The three of them slipped into a pew around the center of the church, where they sat routinely. They always made sure to get there a little early, so his parents could talk with their friends; going to church was as much of a social event as it was a chance to save their souls. 

A few minutes later, the Ways arrived, slipping into the pew beside the Ieros. Frank greeted Gerard with a fist bump, and soon the service started. 

Throughout the service, Frank was increasingly aware of Gerard’s presence beside him. The sound of his breath, rising and falling quietly, distracted him from the sermon going on.  _ That’s probably a sin _ , he thought,  _ to not pay attention to your pastor’s words for favor of being infatuated with your friend of the same sex _ .

After what felt like a lifetime and a half, their pastor stated the liturgy, and Mass was over. The two families stood up from their seats in their pews, and the boys’ parents began to mingle among the crowd in the church, dismissing the boys to go home if they pleased. The two made their way back to Gerard’s house. The day was warm, sun glinting off of the concrete of the sidewalk. Frank couldn’t help but notice how Gerard’s skin seemed to glow like honey in the sunlight. Gerard was talking excitedly about something, but for the life of him, Frank was too distracted to tell you what.

They arrived at the Way household, and made their way down to Gerard’s basement room. Gerard rummaged through his dresser, and pulled out a CD buried in the back, hidden from his parents’ strict religious gaze.

“Look what Mikes got me!” Gerard smiled lopsidedly to Frank, who had made himself at home on Gerard’s bed. “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars.” Gerard recited dramatically. “David Bowie.”

Frank grinned. New music was a rarity for the two of them, and was always appreciated thoroughly. “Funny name, let’s listen?”

Gerard popped the disc into his CD player, and soon the sound of the elusive, forbidden rock-n-roll filled the room. Gerard’s parents weren’t home, and wouldn’t be for at least another hour; plus, they wouldn’t hear the music from all the way upstairs anyway, so he turned the sound up, blissfully unaware of the gaze of admiration radiating from his friend.

Looking past his complicated feelings for the boy, Frank thought Gerard was the coolest person in the world. He was smart, and funny, and not afraid to be a little rebellious. Who else did Frank know who’d have the balls to steal his mom’s car to do stupid shit with his friends in the middle of the night? Nobody, that’s who. That brought Frank back to thinking about the night at the movies, and holding Gerard’s hand. He wanted to do that again, he thought. It was nice. He couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to do more, though. He wondered if Gerard’s lips were soft as his hands. 

“Frank, are you listening?” Gerard’s voice snapped Frank out of his daydream.

Frank smiled sheepishly, a look that answered Gerard’s question.

Gerard laughed, a funny, nasal little laugh. Frank found himself laughing too, though he didn’t know what at. 

“You’re cute, Frankie.” Gerard smiled, dropping onto the bed beside frank. His cheeks were tinted pink.

Frank looked at his lap, his face feeling hot. “Yeah?” He was upset with himself for the elated feeling he got at Gerard’s words, fluttering through his chest and up his throat, but he couldn’t bring himself to care just yet. “You’re cute too.” Frank didn’t meet Gerard’s eyes, but there was a certain lilt to his voice that proved his sincerity. Gerard giggled at that, wrapping his arm around Frank’s shoulder, and using his other hand to cup Frank’s cheek, gently moving his head to face him. Frank was surprised at the contact, but allowed himself to lean into it nonetheless. There was nothing inherently romantic about the touch, anyway. It was allowed.

What Gerard said next made Frank’s stomach churn with a mix of excitement and nausea.

“Have you ever kissed a boy, Frankie?”

Frank’s face was fully red by now, and he silently cursed Gerard for holding his head in place; he desperately wanted to bury his face in his hands. He slowly shook his head no, although he knew Gerard already knew the answer to that question.

“Do you want to?” 

Frank nodded fervently, his worries about sin suddenly out of the window, and climbed into Gerard’s lap to straddle his thighs. He placed one hand solidly behind Gerard’s neck, and allowed the other to tangle in his hair. 

He leaned in to kiss Gerard, but suddenly stopped himself, his conscience catching up to him. “Wait. Gerard,” he whispered. “I- I don’t know…”

Gerard stroked his hair calmingly. “What don’t you know? You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, you know.”

“No, I want to. I just- I don’t even know if I’m gay or not. Can this just be an experiment?”  _ God can’t hate me for an experiment, can he? I’ll just kiss Gerard and get all this over with and out of my system. _

Gerard smiled softly, although there was a sad twinge in his eyes. He didn’t want to just be an experiment, undoubtedly, but he could settle for that. “Okay, baby. Of course.” The nickname sent a pleasant swoop through Frank’s stomach, and he leaned in to kiss Gerard for real this time. It started as a chaste peck on the side of his mouth, but it quickly began to escalate, years of confusion and frustration manifesting itself. Frank parted his lips, allowing Gerard’s tongue to pass and explore the inside of his mouth. When Gerard bit down softly on Franks’ lower lip, he emitted a tiny mewl that went straight to Gerard’s dick. Frank let out a breathy sigh, grabbing Gerard’s face again and pressing it harder against his own, reveling in the taste of Gerard’s mouth against his. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knew that he was enjoying it too much, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Gerard’s tongue slid against Frank’s quite literally sinfully, and his hands began to roam Frank’s body - down his spine, reaching into his back pockets to grab at his ass. Unconsciously, Frank began rutting against Gerard’s thighs, already half hard and grasping at straws for some kind of friction. He moaned into Gerard’s mouth, eliciting a moan in response. When the kiss finally broke, Gerard grinned lopsidedly at Frank before plunging back in to kiss him again. 

The small breath between kisses, and seeing Gerard’s face again, rather than just feeling his lips on his own, caused Frank to realize what he’d done. “Oh, fuck.” he said, more to himself than to Gerard, and he pushed himself off of Gerard, rushing out of his room and back home. He pushed past his parents, throwing out some lame excuse as to why he hadn’t stayed longer at Gerard’s, and ran to his room, getting his hands on his rosary as soon as possible. He prayed the rosary, over and over again, as if stopping meant that his will to resist sin would suddenly vanish. His voice was hoarse, and he was tired. His fingertips were numb from rubbing on the beads.

He was upset that kissing Gerard only left him wanting more. He didn’t “get it out of his system,” as he thought he would, instead desperately wanting to be back on Gerard’s lap, their mouths sliding against one another.

He felt dirty. He had let another man kiss him, grope him. They’d been rutting against each other, and Frank realized with disgust how close he had been to getting his rocks off. 

He rushed to the shower, quickly stripping down and stepping into the water, not waiting for it to heat up. He lathered himself up with soap and washed it off, over and over. His skin was raw from rubbing, but he didn’t stop. His hands were bleeding, cracking with overuse of the harsh soap. He slumped onto the floor of the shower, allowing the water to flow over him, pulling a few drops of blood with it. And he cried. He didn’t know how long he sat there, crying out his frustrations. He wanted Gerard so badly, but more than that, he wanted to not want Gerard. He wanted to want Gerard as a friend and nothing more. But he didn’t. Frank Iero was hopelessly in love, entirely against his will.

***

Frank had begun to pray the rosary every night, and shower multiple times a day in hopes that it would banish his sinful desires and clean him of the ever-present layer of moral corruption he felt coating his skin. It didn’t. He didn’t go to school that week, claiming illness so that he wouldn’t have to see Gerard. He prayed extra hard those nights, hoping that God would understand the reason for his deception. The weekend rolled around, and Frank continued to curse himself for his idiocy.  _ Why did he have to kiss Gerard? And why did he have to like it so damn much? _ He groaned, getting up to take another shower. 

After the shower, he studied his Bible, looking for any indication that maybe he wasn’t so fucking depraved after all. He discovered something that massaged his conscience slightly, but he couldn’t quite make himself believe it. He shut the book with a sigh, placing it on his nightstand. Once again, he prayed the rosary, the hard beads underneath his fingertips calming him. He fell asleep with it still in his hands.

***

The next morning, he was shaken awake by his mother. He grumbled out a complaint, but got up after realizing her reasons for waking him. It was Sunday, and Sunday Mass began early in the morning. Frank didn’t want to go to Mass. He didn’t necessarily want to skip going to church; He figured he would need all the salvation he could get. He just really didn’t want to see Gerard.

He put on a clean shirt, smoothed his hair down, and joined his family to walk to church. His heart was beating furiously in his chest, and he was almost certain that his parents could hear it. When they got there, the Ways were already there. Frank’s parents ushered him into the pew before them, so he had no choice but to sit next to Gerard, whom he greeted with a tight-lipped smile. They didn’t speak before the service started. 

About halfway through, Frank began to feel sick for real. He was trying his very best to pay attention to the sermon, but his mind kept wandering, thinking about the boy sitting beside him. He wanted to _repent_ , but he couldn’t do that with Gerard right next to him, reminding him of the grave context of his sins. His face had paled, and his eyebrows were drawn together. A thin sheen of sweat coated his temple. Mrs. Way noticed, and nudged Gerard.

She whispered, “Gerard, why don’t you take Frank outside for some fresh air? He doesn’t look too well.”

Frank stiffened. “I’m alright,” he whispered back. “Just- concentrating.”

Mrs. Way gave Gerard a look that told him to just do as she said. With Gerard gently pulling Frank behind him, the two of them quietly slinked out to the parking lot. The silence was heavy between them, as they wordlessly agreed to make their way out to the back of the church. Frank was the first to break the uneasy stillness.

“Fuck you, Gerard.” He sat down miserably, tucking his knees up to his chest and resting his forehead on them. “Fuck you.”

“I beg your pardon?” Gerard’s voice was quiet, but held an unmistakable twinge of anger. “If this is about what I think it is-”

“It is.”

“Well, that wasn’t my fault! You said you were okay with it. You said you wanted to do it. You can’t blame me for that.” Gerard crossed his arms. 

“I know! That’s the problem.” A tear slipped out from the corner of his eye, darkening the concrete beneath his legs. “I don’t want to want you, Gerard. But I- I do. And I can’t- can’t just forgive myself for that. And  _ God _ can’t - or won’t - forgive me for it, either.”

Gerard’s gaze softened. “Oh.” He knelt down to be at eye level with Frank. “I’m sorry, Frankie. I understand.” And he did understand. In reality, Gerard was feeling the same way Frank was, but he knew there was nothing he could do about it. He had come to terms with being fated to burn in Hell long ago.

Frank looked up at him, his eyes watering, and knew he couldn’t stay mad at Gerard.  _ It wasn’t Gerard’s fault anyway _ , he thought. “It’s okay.” Frank’s voice was shot, and it came out as nothing louder than a whisper. “I’m sorry for being mad.”

Gerard smiled softly, reaching out to wipe a tear from Frank’s cheek. “It’s okay.”

Frank nodded, sniffling slightly, and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “So we’re okay?” He looked at Gerard hopefully. 

“We’re okay.”

Frank took a moment to compose himself, and the two boys made their way back to the church, finishing the sermon with a weight lifted off of their chest.

As per usual, their parents decided to stay afterwards to mix and mingle among the assorted churchgoers, and Frank and Gerard slipped out, once again walking back to Gerard’s house. Like a ritual, Gerard fumbled through his dresser until he found his Bowie CD, popping it into his player. He put it on low this time, wanting to be able to talk freely with Frank.

“Gerard,” Frank started. “Do you think God really hates gays?”

“I think so.” Gerard’s eyebrows were drawn together. He hadn’t given much consideration to what he’d been told, he’d just assumed it to be true.

“I thought God didn’t hate anyone, though.”

“Well, I guess. But it’s still a sin.” Gerard frowned.

“Yeah. So is eating shrimp. Gerard, what’s your shirt made out of?”

Gerard struggled to tug at the tag of his shirt, arching his neck so he could read it. “Cotton and polyester, why?”

“Well- well that’s a fucking sin too, Gerard! That’s from- from somewhere in Leviticus. Leviticus says that homosexuality is a sin. Leviticus is full of fucking bullshit, Gerard!” Frank was laughing, nearly in hysterics. “Nobody ever went to hell for eating shrimp. Why would we go to hell for being gay? Oh my God, Gerard, we were  _ born _ to sin!” Frank had spent the last day studying his Bible for the first time since Bible Camp, desperate to justify his want - no, need - for Gerard. In the process of explaining himself out loud, Frank began to believe his own words, too. 

A small smile tugged at the corner of Gerard’s lips.

Frank tackled Gerard in a hug, throwing them both back onto the bed. And they laughed. They laughed until their sides hurt. When Frank couldn’t take it anymore, he grabbed Gerard’s face in his hands, and smashed their mouths together, messy and full of teeth. They were both still laughing, their mouths pressed together. Frank moved his hands from Gerard’s head down to meet behind his neck, their kisses gradually becoming more lazy and relaxed, reveling in one another’s taste.

This time, kissing Gerard didn’t feel like sinning.  _ It felt like being saved. _

***

Frank slept over that night. He hadn’t really intended to, but one hour led to another, and another, and another, and soon enough, it was too late for Frank to walk home safely anyway. He would have to get up early to go home to grab his things for school, but he didn’t mind; being with Gerard was worth it. 

The two boys lay entwined on Gerard’s bed, legs and hands laced together. They spoke softly, and of nothing much, their sentences punctuated by chaste kisses and nuzzled noses. Every word felt like a secret, and like home. Frank wondered how he had ever thought that this could be unholy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowie well hope u liked that! If you did, please consider leaving a comment and/or kudos and I'll love u forever <3  
> What do you think they're going to do next? How long can they keep their little secret? Find out soon (aka whenever I get around to writing the next chaper lol)
> 
> xo ben
> 
> EDIT: PS: if you'd like to, please take a look at my unholyverse fanart that i posted here, it's called "We're all sinners"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while to update! I've been trying to figure out where exactly I want to go with this story, plus I've been pretty busy lately. It's kinda a filler chapter, but I think you'll like it anyway ;) Happy reading!

For the next couple of months, Gerard and Frank lived quietly - secret kisses behind closed doors, and hands held underneath the kitchen table. Mikey had known long before either of them did; though he was raised just as Catholic as the other two boys, he got around, so to speak. Mikey was far less God-fearing, and somehow knew every person in the town of Belleville, and then some. He’d been exposed to all kinds of sinners and heathens, homosexuals not nearly the most shocking among them.

After walking in on Frank and Gerard all over each other in Gerard’s bedroom - and assuring them repeatedly that _no, he wouldn’t tell anyone_ \- he took the opportunity to tell them that he supported them, and all that other good sibling bullshit. Frank and Gerard were relieved, to say the very least. They had no clue how their peers, let alone _parents,_ would react if and when they found out. All they knew was that they were sure not to have a positive reaction. 

The end of the school year had come and gone, and summer was upon them. In the coming year, they would be seniors, and they realized that their time together was growing shorter as college approached. The days had become long, the sun stretching evening shadows like sticky taffy on a warm day. 

On this particular evening, the two boys found themselves on a rickety swing set, the playground having been abandoned by younger children once the sun had begun to set. The clearing where the playground lay was in an oddly secluded area behind a strip mall, surrounded by a thin wall of purposefully-planted trees. 

Frank swung in his seat slightly, kicking up a bit of dust. Neither of them said anything, but it was okay. They were comfortable listening to the sounds of cars passing by, and crickets chirping from somewhere within the trees. The air was warm and slightly damp, smelling hazily of car exhaust and lingering cigarette smoke. Contrary to one’s preconceived notion, however, it was an oddly pleasant smell, and Frank drank it up gratefully. He looked up at the pink and orange sky through lidded eyes, feeling decidedly content and at ease. Unbeknownst to Frank, Gerard was admiring at him with the same tranquil gaze that he had fixed on the heavens.

They had been sitting there wordlessly for a few minutes, after a soft-spoken conversation had teetered to a halt. Gerard stood up, mutely offering his hand to Frank, who took it, standing up and gently kissing Gerard’s knuckles. They would normally never dream of displaying affection such as this in public, but still, there was nobody around but them, and the atmosphere of the night made it hard to remain entirely vigilant. Gerard smiled at that, the corners of his eyes creasing up, and a lilting giggle bubbled up through his throat. Frank couldn’t help but giggle in response. Gerard wrapped their hands together, pulling Frank away from the swingset and out onto the street. The feeling of Gerard’s hand against Frank’s own was intoxicating, and Frank was left feeling slightly disoriented when Gerard let go so they wouldn’t be seen publicly holding hands. It was barely sundown, but Frank felt worn, and covered a yawn with his hand. Gerard noticed - he always noticed, when it came to Frank - and grabbed wrapped his arm around Frank’s shoulder, an action that he deemed to seem friendly enough to a bystander. Frank leaned gratefully into the touch, mumbling out an “m’ tired” to which Gerard responded by rubbing gentle circles into Frank’s shoulder with the pad of his thumb.

“Let’s get home, okay?” Gerard all-but-whispered. “You can stay at my place tonight.”

Frank hummed gratefully, and the two set off on the short walk back home. Their curfew had been extended significantly because it was summer and they were off school, so they still had some time to get there. When they got back to Gerard’s home, it smelled freshly cleaned. There were a few flowers placed in a vase in the kitchen, which they passed through to get to Gerard’s bedroom. On their way there, they passed by Mikey, who gave them a knowing smirk in greeting, before they disappeared into the basement. As soon as the door was closed, Frank was being pressed gently against it, lazy, wet kisses placed on his neck and jaw. He keened slightly, wrapping his arms around Gerard’s neck, feeling up the fabric of his shirt between his fingers. Gerard took the opportunity to hold Frank’s waist, pulling them both back to his bed, his mouth never leaving Frank’s neck, biting and licking gently but being careful not to leave any lasting marks. Gerard maneuvered them so that he was sitting with his back to the headboard, and Frank was straddling his lap. He trailed the kisses up Frank’s cheek and to his mouth, leaving a wet line in his wake. They sat like that, sharing tired, sloppy kisses until the last of their energy had been drained. They pulled apart, and Frank buried his face in Gerard’s neck, breathing him in. At some point - neither boy knew exactly when - Frank slid down, ending up with his head lain in Gerard’s criss-crossed lap. 

Gerard ran his fingers through the other boy’s short hair, wiping a few strands away from his face. Frank hummed contentedly, closing his eyes and nuzzling into Gerard’s touch. Gerard smiled softly at that, allowing his fingertips to brush Frank’s jawline up to his cheekbones, where he rested his hand. Frank reached up to grab Gerard’s hand from off of his cheek, and kissed his knuckles for the second time that evening. He looked up at Gerard as he did it, watching the other boy’s face mold into a smile. He contemplated Gerard for a moment, just peering into his eyes, as if he would find something long-lost there. He felt a wave of affection for the boy lapping at his stomach, and he almost couldn’t help it when he mumbled out a soft “I love you.”

Gerard almost missed it, Frank was so quiet, but he definitely heard what Frank had said. Those words had previously been familiar to the two of them, a phrase that rolled off their tongues like seafoam off of the crest of a wave, but they’d been abandoned after the two became romantically involved, not wanting to sully the romantic meaning of the words. Gerard knew, without question, that loved Frank back, romantically. He did with his whole heart, so much it almost ached. So he leaned down to press a gentle kiss on Frank’s forehead, uttering the words back against his skin. He gently slid Frank’s head out of his lap, and slipped under the covers next to him, pulling Frank’s back to his chest, his face pressed into Frank’s soft hair. He left a kiss there, tangled secretly among the strands, where nobody but Frank would ever find it. “Goodnight, Frankie,” he whispered. Frank squeezed his hand in response.

“Goodnight, Gee.”

***

Gerard awoke to the sound of his alarm going off. He didn’t remember having set it the night before, but he was glad he had. He’d taken to setting it when Frank was over, on the off chance that they would sleep in late enough that someone would come to wake them up and walk in on them in bed together. He reached over Frank to turn the clock off, and Frank groaned, slowly waking up as well. 

“Morning, sleeping beauty.” Gerard chuckled at Frank’s gripes about being woken up earlier than strictly necessary.

Frank grunted, wrapping his arms around Gerard and pulling him down on top of him. Gerard giggled, planting a kiss to the side of Frank’s neck where he was being held. Frank squirmed a little at that, pulling another kiss from Gerard, who began trailing the kisses up his neck. Frank’s breath hitched slightly - at this point he was fully awake - and he rolled Gerard over so he would be on top. He pressed a chaste kiss to Gerard’s lips, before peppering his face with innocent kisses, coaxing a tingling laugh from the boy. Frank allowed his lips to linger on Gerard’s forehead, humming contentedly. “Good morning, Gee” he left one last peck on Gerard’s face before sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Gerard mimicked his action, stretching his arms out above his head and yawning. Frank watched him with pure, unadulterated adoration in his eyes. God, he was so whipped.

***

The summer passed in a blur. It was full of warm evenings and late nights and long kisses shared in secret. Many nights were spent together at one of their houses, talking of nothing at all and hoping they could stay that way forever. Senior year began, and they began to look into college choices. Gerard wanted to go into art, cartooning specifically, and Frank had decided to pursue writing. Neither of their choices were exactly ideal when it came to getting a “real, adult job” as their parents put it, but unsurprisingly, neither of them cared very much. Spring rolled around, and both boys had been accepted into good schools - Gerard at the School of Visual Arts in New York, and Frank at Rutgers in their own state of New Jersey. Both of them were incredibly happy with their respective schools, though they couldn’t help but feel a twinge of heartache at the thought of being separated. 

This day found them sitting on the floor of Frank’s bedroom, papers sprawled between them, trying to edit their group project for biology. The house was completely silent, save for the occasional scuffle of paper and pen. Frank’s parents had gone out for the night, and likely wouldn’t be back until the night. Frank was convinced that they’d done enough work, and that it didn’t need to be edited further. They could’ve technically turned it in as is, but Gerard thought there was something missing, though he didn’t know exactly what. As a result, Frank took it upon himself to be as distracting as possible, whistling and tapping his fingers on the floorboards. Gerard jerked his head up. 

“Frank, _please._ ” he snapped. “It’ll only be a little longer, just let me finish this.”

Frank pouted, a facial expression that he exaggerated to perfection, just enough that it was still believable. “Gee, c’mon.” he whined. “We’ve already gotten into college, and our grades are just fine as is.”

Gerard didn’t respond to that, not quite paying enough attention to do so. Frank, in retaliation to Gerard’s (not ill-willed) neglect, scooted over closer to him, and began to nuzzle his neck, planting little kisses there. 

He had definitely caught Gerard’s attention. “Frank, would you stop? Please, just give me a minute.” Gerard griped, annoyed at Frank’s persistence. Frank smirked. That was exactly where he wanted Gerard.

“Make me.” He opened his mouth, biting down harshly and unceremoniously on Gerard’s neck. That did it. Gerard pushed Frank onto the ground, straddling his waist. He held Frank’s head in his hands, gripping roughly at the strands of hair between his fingers, and pressed their mouths together. Frank gasped, and Gerard took the chance to shove his tongue into Frank’s mouth, fucking into it. When they pulled away, both a little breathless, Frank noticed two things - firstly, the dark glint in Gerard’s eyes that made him shudder a little, and secondly, the fact that he was hard as a rock just from Gerard’s little display of dominance. He whined, pushing his hips up onto Gerard’s. This, in turn, made Gerard aware of his own little problem. He ground down onto Frank, biting back a smug, self-satisfied smile when Frank emitted a series of increasingly desperate mewls. They hadn’t done anything sexual together yet, or with anyone else for that matter, so this was as good a time as any to start. Gerard tugged at the hem of Frank’s shirt, and Frank got the message to lift his arms up so that Gerard could pull the article over his head. Gerard had seen Frank shirtless before, sure, but never like this. Frank’s skin was milky white and smooth, and his nipples were light pink. Gerard suddenly wanted his mouth on them, but he held back, instead placing his hands on Frank’s sides and running them up to his chest, where he swiped at his nipples gently, eliciting another whine from Frank. 

“Gee, your shirt” Frank fussed, feeling awfully exposed while Gerard was still fully clothed.

Gerard murmured out a “Yeah, yeah. Fuck.” before pulling his shirt off. He didn’t like being shirtless in front of others, being slightly insecure about his weight, but the way Frank was looking at his bare torso made all of his misgivings melt away. He undid Frank’s belt buckle, shimmying his pants and boxers down to his knees, allowing his now fully erect cock to spring up, flushed and heavy against his stomach. Frank whined at the sensation of the cool air hitting his dick.

“Gee,” his eyes were wide, and his face was flushed red. “Please, touch me. Just do something. Anything. Please” He bucked his hips up, desperate for friction, but Gerard sat back for a moment, reveling in Frank’s desperate behavior.

“Fucking beautiful,” he muttered, before sticking his palm up to Frank’s face. “Lick it.” he ordered. Frank did as he was told, the salty taste of Gerard’s hand on his tongue. He wondered briefly if other parts of Gerard tasted salty too, though his train of thought was cut off when Gerard ran a curious finger over the underside of his cock. He gasped, his thighs twitching, and was unable to properly catch his breath before Gerard gripped his dick with a slicked-up hand, pumping him teasingly slowly. Frank knew that if Gerard sped up just a little bit, he would cum on the spot, and he was certain that Gerard knew that too, and was taking the moment just to tease him. Without warning, Gerard dug his thumb into the slit of Frank’s aching cock, and Frank let out a breathy, yet surprisingly loud moan. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he was glad that his parents were out for the night. Gerard sped up, jacking Frank harder. 

“Gerard, Gerard, Gerard, please- I-’m close-” Frank babbled, his oncoming orgasm clouding his stream of consciousness.

“That’s it, cum for me, baby.” Gerard growled. At that, Frank was cumming, white ribbons streaking his stomach and Gerard’s knuckles. Frank’s breath was coming out in little gasps, as his cock began to slowly soften, the high of his orgasm still running through him. 

Gerard took a moment to admire his handiwork - Frank’s fucked out, flushed face, his sweaty hair, the cum streaking his belly. Gerard’s neglected dick gave an irritated twitch, and Gerard drew his attention away from Frank for a moment to undo his belt and shove his hand down his pants, sighing in relief at the much-needed contact. He found his hand being slapped away, however, by Frank, who was determined to reciprocate. He reached his hand into Gerard’s pants, pulling out his hard cock, and jostling his pants off. Gerard was big - bigger than Frank, and Frank’s mouth was almost watering at the sight of his cock, pink and hard. Frank settled himself between Gerard’s thighs, getting a hand on his dick and spreading precum around the tip. He leaned down, lapping curiously at the head of Gerard’s cock. He wasn’t sure exactly what to expect, but it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would taste. It was salty and bitter, but not quite unpleasant, so he sank down a little, sucking the tip into his mouth. Gerard groaned, tangling his hands into Frank’s hair, but being careful not to accidentally force Frank down onto his cock (although he had to admit, he liked the idea of doing that). Frank sunk down further onto Gerard, and Gerard couldn’t help it when he bucked his hips up slightly. The feeling of Gerard’s heavy cock sliding against his tongue was outrageously hot to Frank, and he moaned around his dick, the vibrations sending a jolt through Gerard’s whole body. When Frank tried to sink down even further, Gerard’s cock hit the back of his throat and he gagged, pulling off to regain his breath. 

“Fuck,” Gerard panted. A line of spit obscenely connected Frank’s mouth to Gerard’s dick, and he looked up at Gerard through his eyelashes. _Fucking hell._ Gerard took a mental image, tucking it away for… _later use._

Frank sunk back down, sucking lightly and allowing spit to dribble down the sides of Gerard’s cock. Gerard groaned, the wet heat of Frank’s mouth finally pushing him over the edge. He came into Frank’s mouth, his thighs twitching with ecstasy. Frank tried to swallow all of his cum - he didn’t particularly mind the bitter taste - but some ended up spilling out of his mouth and dribbling down his chin. Gerard was quick to collect it with his thumb, pushing it into Frank’s mouth and allowing Frank to suck it clean. 

“Fuck,” Gerard breathed, once he began to regain his composure.

“Fuck,” Frank agreed, smiling slightly. His cheeks were tinted a light pink.

“You’re wonderful,” Gerard placed a gentle kiss to Frank’s mouth, a warm glow settling over both boys.

“I know.” Frank snickered, sending Gerard a pointed look. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

Gerard raised an eyebrow. “Says the guy who liked sucking my dick enough to fucking  _ moan for it. _ ”

Frank flushed, biting back a laugh. “Whatever. So, I take it we’re done with our bio project?”

“Yeah, I suppose we are.” Gerard smiled, pulling Frank in so that their bodies were flush with one another. He sighed contentedly. He could do this for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, did you like that? (woww my favorite repressed catholic boys finally had secks lol) What do you think is going to happen when Frank and Gerard go off to college?  
> Comments, cc, and kudos are always appreciated <3
> 
> xo ben


End file.
